A day of her leaving was a day of her sight
15th Feb. 2017
13:19 P.M

I had found a friend in her (I guess). New workplace, shy me. Her way of living life is what clicked for me I am sure. She would turn the boring and lethargic office hours into chaos. A chaos to be cherished, a chaos to look forward to. Ever heard of Harley Quinn? Yes, she was a variant of her (Not 100% but 50% of her). You don't fall in love with chaos everyday, otherwise.

I had looked up to her when it came to sitting in office because deep down I knew no matter how my day goes, if I turn to her she would change the rest of it for me in a way I would have not even imagined. Rarely have I come across people who are full of life. May be she also has a story, may be she has also gone through a lot. But the best part is that she doesn't show that in her attitude. The way she carries herself in every situation is nothing but respectful for me. I wish I had an iota of courage like her. 

Later in the day, she told me she is shifting to the other office from now on. A new team was arriving in their place. What was I more confused about : the fact that they were shifting or the fact that I won't have anything to look forward to in the day? A stale day awaited me..

The Gatorade:

You know sometimes how you start feeling low in the day because of some reason or the other..and then there comes this glimmer of hope which just shows up. Mine just showed up on the door step. I have to admit I have always been in awe of her. Her beauty? Her simplicity? Naah... I think the feeling that she is around & nothing is going to go wrong. There, I said it. That's exactly how I feel about her. 

Irony is I can't marry her. Our stars don't match apparently as told by their pundit. I don't find a reason not to marry her. I just hope she gets the courage to stand up for marriage (for which she is not ready as she told me). Because if she does I would take a stand for her like I have never taken for anything in my life. 

These past couple of days have been of longing mostly. Rest of the schedule has been the same.

Oh btw did I just tell you - I turned down a valentine's day request because I wasn't sure about her. This 'her' is none of the 2 I have discussed above. It's amazing I sleep with girls and yet when it comes to these occasions I turn into a responsible man. A one woman man! 

Waah re mere 2 kodi ke usool :-D

The Not So Usual Almost Monday  

12.02.2017

About myself:

Okay! I am Rohan and like any other average guy, my life is going somewhere I am yet to figure out. Did you ever come across this strange and weird situation and you did not want that weird situation to be "your" situation. That is exactly how I feel these days. I am 29 but confused as much a 20 year old when I see/talk of life. 

I see people on FB, Insta & apps like the Snapchat (Jesus Fucking Christ why are people on this app - get a life assholes). They all look happy. They are either getting hitched, becoming parents, travelling, partying, eating, celebrating life and I am like what's wrong with me? People like me or may be even worse than me are youtuber's these days. They are minting money and have a fan following. Like life was not cruel enough and then these show up. Things like these just shake your self-confidence & slap you in the face for being normal nowadays.

One thing I've realised by looking at the world (I have seen so far) is that if you have been an average student, an average employee, an average son - this world does not care about you. You got to raise your game in every domain for people to acknowledge that you exist, that you are just like them. 

14:31 P.M

Not so usual because I start writing today. I have not been someone who has been very expressive with his words or actions till date. Misunderstood for not being caring and sane at times because of it.

But I never cared because I am an introvert (I guess). Is that weird? I don't think so. There are people like me out there. Boring (for others) may be, but yes they do exist. And extroverts - Fuck you! 

It's my birthday today. Not the english one. We celebrate two - both with the same enthusiasm. The day started with birthday pooja and breakfast. What followed was a game of FIFA and then a movie. 

Picking up the lappy for starting this took about an hour. Convincing myself to start before the moment goes away is what took an hour, which means I can be convinced over a period of time.

I hope to write more. More about the people I meet, about the experiences I have, about the actions I take, about the decisions I make, about what I think of someone/something, about love, about heartbreaks, about expectations, about family & about friends.

Nevertheless, I look forward to maintain this as a diary (a memory in writing). Managing this for a year would be a task but I will try because I would want to learn from it when the year ends.